1. |
||||
IT'S TOO UNBEARABLE TO TAKE
ALMOST TO EVEN MENTION
THE HUMILIATION
OF FALLING ASLEEP IN THE CAR
HEAD SNAPPING DOWN TO YOUR SHOULDER IN THE BACK SEAT
LIKE YOUR EXHAUSTION CAUGHT YOU BY SURPRISE
GOT THE JUMP ON YOU
WRAPPED ITS HANDS AROUND YOUR NECK FROM BEHIND
& TWISTED
LIKE A CARTOON VILLAIN'S HENCHMAN
BODY LEFT LIMP ON THE FLOOR
IN THAT NEBULOUS STATE OF DEATH & UNDEATH
TERRIFIED
OF THE DRIVER'S EYES
FLICKING UP TO THE MIRROR
TO SEE YOUR LIDS CLOSED
YOUR JAW SLACK
TERRIFIED
TO BE WITNESSED
OUT OF CONTROL
DID ANYBODY EVER CARRY YOUR SLEEPING BODY OUT OF THE CAR?
DID ANYBODY EVER CARRY YOUR SLEEPING BODY OUT OF THE CAR?
DID ANYBODY EVER CARRY YOUR SLEEPING BODY OUT OF THE CAR UP THE STAIRS & SAFE INTO BED?
DID ANYBODY EVER CARRY YOUR SLEEPING BODY OUT OF THE CAR UP THE STAIRS & SAFE INTO BED?
DID ANYBODY EVER CARRY YOUR SLEEPING BODY?
OUT OF THE CAR?
UP THE STAIRS SAFE INTO BED?
DID ANYBODY EVER CARRY YOUR SLEEPING BODY OUT OF THE CAR UP THE STAIRS & SAFE INTO BED?
DID ANYBODY EVER CARRY YOUR SLEEPING BODY OUT OF THE CAR UP THE STAIRS SAFE INTO BED?
DID ANYBODY EVER CARRY YOUR SLEEPING BODY OUT OF THE CAR?
DID ANYBODY
EVER CARRY
YOUR SLEEPING BODY
UP THE STAIRS?
|
||||
2. |
TO PLAY
09:23
|
|||
i
i
i
i don't want to play.
i don't want to play.
i don't want to play.
i don't want to play.
|
||||
3. |
||||
a year ago today i tweeted, "the lesbian urge to tear your life apart at the seams & throw the unrecognisable pieces into the flames." ... november... hahahahaha
the lesbian urge to tear your life apart at the seams & throw the unrecognisable pieces into the flames
the lesbian urge to tear your life apart at the seams & throw the unrecognisable pieces into the flames
the lesbian urge to tear your life apart at the seams & throw the unrecognisable pieces into the flames
into the flames
into the flames
into the flames
into the flames
into the flames
into the flames
into the flames
into the flames
into the flames
into the flames
into the flames
into the flames
into the flames
into the flames
into the flames
|
||||
4. |
TO EMPTY YOU OUT
08:03
|
|||
lately ive been really getting back into uhhhh rotting
get close enough
& the sudden clarity of understanding
will fill your nose & mouth
feel the weight of it
the weight of the scent on your tongue
the weight of it in your throat
meaty & sweet
a smell like a set of hands
one pinching your nose closed
the other probing your esophagus
trying to empty you out
trying to empty you out
trying to empty you out
trying to empty you out
trying to empty you out
spending my days slowly liquifying
a willing host to any parasite that will have me
any mycorrhizal network that wants to break new ground
feeding anything that can feed on me
anything that feels it could build a life off of my death
anything that wants to hollow me out
strip me for parts
i can't access that energy anyway
someone may as well use it
i'm begging someone to use it
anyone
please
|
||||
5. |
||||
6. |
||||
[inaudible]
|
||||
7. |
||||
the, uh, heart rate spikes i get right after i eat feel, uh, a little bit like i'm actively dying sometimes. like it's the, uh, very act of sustaining myself that's gonna be the thing that kills me. life... is just a series of symptoms of uhh... the disease called life..? you live 'til you die. right?
|
||||
8. |
||||
i've been
i've been cryin
i've been
i've been cryin
i've been
i've been cryin
i've been
i've been cryin
i've been
i've been cryin
i've been
i've been cryin
i've been cryin
i've been cryin
i've been cryin
cryin
i've been
i've been cryin
i've been cryin
i've been cryin
i've been cryin
i've been cryin
i've been cryin
i've been cryin
|
||||
9. |
||||
don't it ever feel like
nothing's ever easy?
making all these phone calls
hoping they'll believe me.
don't it ever feel like
nothing's ever easy?
making all these phone calls
hoping they'll believe me.
don't it ever feel like nothing's ever easy?
making all these phone calls, hoping they'll believe me.
don't it ever feel like nothing's ever easy?
making all these phone calls, hoping they'll believe me.
don't it ever feel like
nothing's ever easy?
making all these phone calls
hoping they'll believe me.
push it past the break point.
fuel the fire with fear.
don't you know how bad it
got for me to be here?
push it past the break point. feel the fear with fear.
don't you get how bad it got for me to be here?
push it past the break point. fuel the fire with fear.
don't you know how bad it got for me to be here?
don't it ever feel like
nothing's ever easy?
making all these phone calls
hoping they'll believe me.
don't it ever feel like nothing's ever easy?
making all these phone calls hoping they'll believe me.
don't it ever feel like
nothing's ever easy?
don't it ever feel like
nothing's ever easy?
making all these phone calls
hoping they'll believe me
push it past the break point. fuel the fire with fear.
don't you get how bad it got for me to be here?
don't it ever feel like
nothing's ever easy?
don't it ever feel like
nothing's ever easy?
making all these phone calls
hoping they'll believe me
push it past the break point. fuel the fire with fear.
don't you know how bad it got for me to be here?
push it past the break point
push it past the break point
push it past the break point
push it past the break point
don't it ever feel like
nothing's ever easy?
don't it ever feel like
nothing's ever easy?
don't it ever feel like
nothing's ever easy?
don't it ever feel like
nothing's ever easy?
making all these phone calls.
hoping they'll believe me.
don't it ever feel like
nothing's ever easy?
making all these phone calls.
hoping they'll believe me.
don't it ever feel like
nothing's ever easy?
don't it ever feel like
nothing's ever easy?
|
||||
10. |
||||
11. |
||||
i want to honour & trust my body.
i want to extend my body the grace i extend to anyone i am in relationship with.
i want to meet it in good faith,
to accept that it expresses needs without malice,
to believe in its ability to communicate directly without subtext.
my body is not manipulating me.
my body is not capable of deceipt or spite.
my body does not make suggestions from a place of malice.
my body is not trying to trick me &, importantly, cannot be tricked.
my body deserves the tenderness of a child whose only tool is tears.
it deserves for me to meet it with honesty & care.
you don't fix a check engine light by putting electrical tape over the dashboard.
i want to honour & trust the warning lights my body flashes,
the alarms it can't resolve to silence without my interference,
the pained whirrs & clicks that show i've already pushed it too far.
my body is not manipulating me.
i will extend it grace.
i will meet it in good faith,
with honesty & care.
my body is not manipulating me.
my body is not manipulating me.
|
||||
12. |
||||
13. |
Streaming and Download help
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